Mark Joshua Olivarez..

Rewind

Some people think that im such a “great guy, smart, strong” etc.. but truth is, i struggle with the past, struggle with memories of things that should be completely erased. Fragments of what used to be just fall right back to where it truly started, me. If i had a chance to change what we used to be, would’ve done it without any hesitation, knowing i outgrew my immaturity with responsible outcomes, i can clearly say i’m a better mark. Life takes you through journeys where you think its going to be alright, but on the other-hand that just isn’t the case. Their are things, situations and people that need to be erased for good, but they’re just tatted like ink, permanently stuck. Sometimes you wanna feel the effect of regret but why regret something that you know will never come to be. We say we wanna move on, but deep in your heart and spirit, how can you move on from a memory that scarred your entire being, the depth of one’s emotion. I have made numerous mistakes and hurt people as if it was easy for me but hard for them, regret? maybe, stupidity? clearly. I know there will be a day where i have the chance to make it all right, and repay all those miserable things i have done. Hoping to make it easier on the ones i’ve caused pain to, Only if i could take the man i am today in the past, it wouldn’t be like this. Not one memory of the past has been blotted out, seems like it but never judge a book by its cover. One day it’ll all sum up, nothing to be sad about, just a state of a factual opinion coming from a guy who is clearly handcuffed to the past.